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| Portrait Courtesy of Susaye Greene Copyright © 2007 |
| Dear Alice, My mother is planning a surprise party for my dad’s seventieth birthday. She is in charge of everything and she’s done all the running around for it. She even assigns tasks to me and my siblings to bring the whole thing together. What bothers me is that these tasks are all very menial and inconsequential things. She acts like she doesn’t trust anyone to do anything remotely important toward this event. I offered to pick up the cake and she told me that the way I drive the cake would never get there in one piece. Her whole attitude about this really bothers me. How should I handle it? Disturbed Daughter Dear Disturbed Daughter, Have you spoken to your mother about your hurt feelings? My guess is that your mom has put a lot of time and energy into this event and she wants everything to go smoothly. I also suspect that she might think she’s saving you any extra trouble by doing most of it herself. If you think she’s really being mean spirited or disrespectful, tell her how you feel. Otherwise swallow it and enjoy the party. Remember, it is about your dad. Best, Alice _______________________________________________________________ Dear Alice, My new sister-in-law is a very loud and very crude person. She comes to family gatherings and speaks in any way she chooses, in front of the children, in front of my parents and our friends. She has no tact at all. My brother is so in love with her that he sees nothing wrong with her behavior and refuses to say anything to her about it. Is there anything to do be done here? Appalled In Annapolis Dear Appalled In Annapolis, Yes. If your brother won’t say anything to her, say it yourself. Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and that she would be well served to tone it down. If she doesn’t comply, stop inviting them over. Best, Alice _________________________________________________________ Dear Alice, Ever since my father retired he’s become a couch potato. He never wants to do anything. He just sleeps in, stays up late, eats all the time, and watches more TV than anything else. My mom is beside herself about it. She had plans to do things after he retired and he won’t go along with her. What is your advice? Son In Salem Dear Son In Salem, My advice is for you to mind your own business. This is between your mother and father and I would almost bet that your dad has dreamed about being able to sleep in and stay up late and watch all the TV he wants for many years. Give him his time to be himself and see if he doesn’t perk up. Until then, let your mom handle the situation. Best, Alice _______________________________________________________________ Dear Alice, How can people take what the founding fathers wrote about equality for all men seriously. These were mostly men who owned slaves. Perplexed Dear Perplexed, I think we all have to remember that in the day and age when the founding fathers lived there were certain things that were socially acceptable which aren’t anymore. I think to condemn people for doing things that were the norm in their day is just as wrong as it is for us to pooh pooh the beliefs of others today. Best, Alice |
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| The Fabulous Angelina |
| Alice Advises by Alice Stein |
| Columnist Alice Stein has written for several notable publications. Alice Advises is her most popular feature to date, and her work also appears in the Bay Area Star. She is married and lives in San Francisco with her husband, their two dogs, and a bevy of interesting emails to keep her off the streets. |